The Wedding

I think I forgot to share about the wedding I went to a few weeks ago and I’m sorry. It was interesting and we had a good time.

We took motos to this nice hotel that also doubles as the Justice of The Peace. It was a courtroom but with big plush chairs rather than wooden benches. When the head official came into the room a woman clapped three times and we all stood up. He marched in and took his seat at the head bench in front of the seated bride and groom. There was a video-grapher taping the ceremony. This is the huge camera from the 80’s with a VHS tape and how can I forget the spotlight that was blinding!

Let me refresh you on this situation. I was invited to be this lady’s friend by her Togolese fiancée one day outside the American Embassy, but I’d only spoken to her on the phone a few times and never met her. She asked if I’d come to the wedding and I know that she is really far from home, so I said yes. Literally, Julie and I were the only other white people beside her. Needless to say we had to be in all the pictures for this reason. It was comical, but fun and she was really nice.

The ceremony was in French and from what Julie said it was not vows, but the official spoke the laws of Togo about the duties of a man and the duties of a woman and what each had to do now that they were married. There wasn’t anything about love or till death do you part. At one part the official even asked the husband if he wanted to have other wives because he had to state it then, for the paperwork of course, during the ceremony. In all fairness he asked the lady too and once it was translated for her she said no also.

We were taken in the groom’s brother’s car to another hotel for more pictures and then to the house. Let me pause and tell you that it was like we left Africa for a few hours. The house was amazing. They even have 3 extra bedrooms and invited us to stay with them. This house was posh by L.A. standards. Then the brother’s house is in the back of their property and the sister’s house is next door. The family compound was amazing! The rooftop was flat and the reception was held up there. The brother and the uncle sat with us. The brother’s wife didn’t sit with us as she had to tend their son and waited hand and foot on her husband too. She even came and fed him at one point. He danced with Julie and I. I felt bad for the wife. Then the uncle basically wanted to make Julie his wife (later we found out her had 2 wives already). He told her that he had money and all the doors to all the top government parties and places would be opened to her. I laughed as Julie could care less about this. He told us how his father was a general in the military. Just a tidbit, there are basically 20 generals who share the GDP in Togo. The people do not really see this money as they spend it outside the country or share it only with each other. We were in a different realm that what we see each day in our area of Lome.

We danced to American music, ate well, and drinks never stopped coming to our table. It was crazy. Then they called the driver when it was time for us to go home, but then they decided to take us home themselves. The uncle left at the same time and he drove like a maniac behind our car the whole way home. It was crazy. I was never so happy to get back to Lome and my chaotic street. Julie even turned to me at one point and asked me to pray that we make it home safely. When they dropped us at our street we went to the primary school where there is a guardian just incase the uncle decided to find out where we live. We felt it was a wiser place to go. We saw our friends there too so it was nice to be in familiar surroundings.

I will see my new friend again, but it will be mellower next time.