The Way Graduation Should Be

My Togolese friend told me that one of his friends was graduating from hair dressing school and told me that I should go with him. This is one of my good friends (if I can say that after living 7 weeks) so I agree that it would be a fun opportunity. I meet my friend and we ride on his moto to the school. There were 12 girls graduating and so there were 12 sections. We were escorted to the appropriate section and I was so thankful that we sat in the shade. Each section was overseen by the girl’s family and so her brother greeted us and made sure that our chairs were wiped off. This is a very common thing, matter of fact people buy small packs of Kleenex for two reasons. The first is to wipe off the seat before you sit down and the second to dab the sweat off their face. Who would have thought this was so imperative? It’s so common that outside places like church, the Justice of the Peace, and this school that was holding the graduation that there are venders who sell the Kleenex packets and gum. Go figure, that gum is also something that you have for these special occasions. Welcome to another country Nina.

True to special occasion form, there is a Master of Ceremony, huge booming speakers cranked up, dancers, photographers, a few cameramen accompanied by the spotlight men, and money given to people. The ceremony began with the girls dressed in matching outfits, dancing there way to their seats in the center of the courtyard. I would like to add that all the teachers were also dressed in matching outfits as they sat facing the students and the audience. Then the director danced in and took her seat. There were some words said and then the girls stood in 2s and introduced themselves then loud music was played and people came to put money into the basket that they held. This money was given to the director as a thank you gift for the girl’s education. As the offering was taken by each girl from her friends and family I watched as people danced and celebrated this time of completion for each girl.

It’s hard for me to think that they can’t just get a job now but they have to work as an apprentice for 3 years WITHOUT PAY! Then they will be able to work for pay. It’s so hard to find jobs for the Togolese people, yet it seems that everyone works. It’s because they have established this cycle of pay for school and then work for free for years and may be if you meet and know the right people you will get a job. Otherwise you will be unemployed and have to start another internship for another 3 years and hope that you can get a job afterward. To top it off educated people who graduated with a Master’s degree at from the University who get a job are only making about $300 a month.

There was a dance troupe that entertained us while the girls changed. This was traditional African dance and then some original choreographing. I’ll go out on a limb but the dance that made fun of Muslims the way that Americans would dress up like “blackie” with shoe polish on their faces was appalling to me. Then there was the song that they danced to that talked about being happy. One line talked about being so happy that they peed. Yes, one of the four men dancing opened his fly in the middle of the dance and urinated on the ground. I almost fell out of my chair. I truly was speechless. I still feel a little weird just talking about it. This just proves that boundaries are different between cultures.
The girls returned and showcased their hair styles and outfits like professional models. Well, professional models with this crazy auntie or teacher running around guiding them and waiving her scarf around. It was entertaining and I thought of her as a happy Tinkerbelle type of lady who was just having fun.
It was during this time that the families, who were in charge of each section, passed out water and then snacks for the guests who came to see the girl graduate. Yes, I took a plastic bag of water. I was so thirsty. I had read that the plastic bags with the blue writing were OK, but not to drink the clear bags. About half way through drinking the bag I could feel my stomach lurch. I knew that this was not my brightest move and I regretted no bringing my water bottle that I carry everywhere else. My friend and I took the snack bags, but I put them in my bag for later, even though I was hungry I knew that if the water wasn’t so great I shouldn’t risk the double whammy with the snack too.

Soon the girls were collecting money again, but this time is was for their gifts for graduation. We give cards with cash, they stand in front of their families and friends with a kitchen pot and their loved ones give them money. Then the family and friends linger and dance a bit too. I refrained from lingering and dancing as I was the ONLY white person for a few miles in this area and well I’d been trying to blend a little.

The finale of this event was the presentation of the diplomas. It was beautiful and amazing and made the 3 hours of sitting completely worth it! I felt jealous that we don’t celebrate an achievement like this in America! The girls lined up and faced the director shoulder to shoulder. Traditional music played and the Director danced over and circled the first girl and took her arm. She danced her to the front and still arm in arm put her large framed diploma in her arms. Then girl then left the Director and danced all around the perimeter of where the graduates had been sitting to show everyone her diploma, then took her seat. Meanwhile, the Director had gone onto the last girl in line and done the same with her. This continued, one end to the other until the girl in the middle was also presented her diploma. It was beautiful!
Of course there were a million pictures taken and then each girl went to her family and friends and then there were more pictures taken. I of course, being the token white person, was made to take many many pictures. I smiled and tried to hide my ugly canvas bag behind me.

After the graduation we were then invited to the house. At 7:15 my friend told me that we would leave at 8:00pm. I thought this would be good. Then the family began feeding us. My stomach was still not right after the water but I knew that this was special and I couldn’t say no to their food. Of course I forgot to mention that the power had gone out just before we arrived so the food was served in the dark. It was traditional style, which means you eat with your hands. We prayed over the food (of course!) and I began to eat the chicken. But the chicken was more bone and less meat. I mean the chicken bones I boil for my puppy had more meat on them. I felt bad for thinking this but I promise it is the truth. I also thought of my mom and how she loved to suck and nibble at chicken bones. I think that there were times she condemned me for not enjoying this too and for leaving too much meat on the bone. I know she would enjoy this and I wondered if she wasn’t looking down laughing at me as I was doing my best to eat what was on these bone pieces. I smiled to myself.
There was also some mash type carb-based dish that the French call pot. It’s served with a sauce and typically I have the red sauce and it’s made with chicken or fish and it’s tomato-based with lots of hot pepper. I was sadly mistaken this evening when I was given this pot. I not only got the fish head but it was a greenish clear sauce. I laughed with my friend that he would have to eat the eyeballs as I can’t do this yet, but instead he just had them give me the tail piece instead. I was worried that the family would think bad of me or that I was too picky but it didn’t seem to matter. We shared the pot and the tail of the fish. Of course my friend ate the back bone and I had the fish, sauce, and pot all with my fingers. Now I need to explain that the greenish-clear sauce was not just interesting in the dark, but I couldn’t really enjoy the flavor as the consistency was too much like snot and the way it stuck to my fingers reminded me of Slimmer from Ghost Busters. I asked my friend what it was made from a few times, but he didn’t know. I wondered if okra was hidden in it as okra makes thinks slimy, but there is no telling for sure. I just know after I took a bit with my fingers and then closed my pointer, middle, and thumb and then opened them again that a large string of slime connected them. Since the lights were still off I played with my food a little more and my friend laughed at me. I found it more like science than dinner. I think I should get an E for effort in eating this dish for sure. Oh and how could I forget that since it was a very special occasion that they were serving whiskey to wash down the meal. I wish I had known when they were handing out, but I knew that this was very expensive here and I had to toast with everyone else. So I washed all this down with a shot of whiskey. Later I wondered if the alcohol wouldn’t help disinfect any harmful bacteria and was glad I had the whiskey.

We didn’t leave at 8pm, because that was when the power turned on and the dancing began. Oh yes my friends I danced and learned a little African dancing too. I danced with men and little boys and women and laughed until my sides hurt. It was such a great time. I think that we left around 10pm. When one of my friend’s friend also needed to go. We all squished on his moto and rode home. I laughed to myself as we drove home as I was this white girl squished between these black guys on this moto…the human oreo cookie. Oh my life!

I will tell you I spent the next 2 or 3 days taking Imodium and drinking water and eating mild food…my poor tummy. I just know it was the water in the plastic bag that did me in. My body isn’t quite ready to be Togolese yet.