Observations

Recently I took my friend’s father, who is visiting from America, to the boarder market. This market takes place each Wednesday when people from villages come and sell leaves, dried fish and snakes, used clothes, eggs, produce, and cloth. I guess you could think of it as the farmer’s market African style. We walked there and chatted the whole time. As we walked I pointed to this and that and what it is used for. He pointed out that I’ve had quite an education here in many different ways. As this sunk in the rest of the day I realized that he is very correct. I feel comfortable here and enjoy living here so much. I know that it’s harder and there is no rhyme or reason to how things are done at times, but I feel that there is meaning and more joy in my life here. I know that I will always be the yovo so I will never be completely accepted but that is ok. I have also begun to wonder what America will look like to me this summer when I visit. I’m starting think about this visit and it feels more like I’m going on one of my adventure trips more than returning home. It’s bizarre.
My friend’s father enjoyed our walk and I did too. I came home and thought about all the things that seem normal here or some of the bigger differences that we talked about and thought I should share them with you too. I think I’ll just make a list with a little commentary rather than making a post for each.

We saw a three year old walking with his brothers and sisters. They were all carrying something to sell and it happened that the three year old was selling cigarettes from a bucket.

All the raw meat we passed that had been lying on tables under simple awnings all day. When someone buys the meat it is hacked off the larger piece on what we would call a tree stump, but the butcher sees it as a cutting board as he cuts the meat and bones with a machete then puts the meat in a bowl (that is not washed) and then places it on the balance scale. He will give the price and there is always the potential for bartering that will take place.

The random shops that are unmarked and you can duck inside and find all kinds of things from chicken shops to laundry soap venders or may be a bar or hardware store.

All the different kinds of leaves and twigs that women sell for all different kinds of sauces, most of which are served with acume (which I can make now….I can make it in America too so look out if I stay with you this summer).

All the bartering that takes place. I was teaching my friend’s father you don’t get ripped off as bad if you ask how much the item is and then barter and then get your money out and pay. The exception is if you know the standard price for something. If a hungry person, or dishonest person sees you have all kinds of money (not to mention they know your foreign already) they will try to get as much as they can out of you like you are a money tree that has wandered by.

When you purchase a cell phone here you purchase a SIM card from a company, there is pretty much a monopoly here in Togo, then you purchase credit from almost any store, people who walk the streets selling the cards, or other people who sell things from their homes. It is expensive to talk on the phone here and so sending an SMS or a text is my preferred form of communication. I am forever running out of credit it seems. The person who places the call has to pay, but the recipient doesn’t pay at all. Thus there is ‘flashing’. This is when you have enough credit to place a call but not enough to talk or you’re cheap, so you call the person and let it ring one or two times. The person is then supposed to call you back so you can greet them and ask for something.
In Ghana it seems that the credit really lasts quiet a bit longer. I have a SIM for Ghana also and that is how I call America. I just have to walk to the boarder of Togo and Ghana, a sketchy area in broad daylight, and sit on a rock near the busy road and hustling businesses to call. Somehow this seems ok and acceptable to me now.

Another interesting thing here is the way that people cut their toenails, men and women alike. They have their toenails trimmed very far back and in a very manicured arch. Their toenails are so small as the result in contrast to their large feet that have been free to grow and widen as they go barefoot or wear plastic flip flops daily.
There are women who walk around all day with their manicure/pedicure stuff in a large bowl, which they carry on their head of course. When someone calls to them they will cut, file, and paint (the ladies toenails) for roughly 50 cents. I used to cringe a little to think that several people every day had their nails done without these tools being washed, just a quick wipe on the woman’s skirt when she was finished. Oh and she doesn’t use toenail clippers, they use scissors. Now, I wonder if fungus has a harder time living here because of the heat or some other unknown reason as no one I’ve seen or met has had problems of this kind.

Then how can I forget to ponder the abnormally high number of children and adults who have herniated belly buttons. I wonder if it has to do with the way the belly button is cut after birth or if there is something else that causes this. I would say that it is close to 80% of children and 40% of adults here have them. No one seems to be concerned about this. I just hope that it doesn’t indicate other complications.

I have determined that Eway is a exceptionally general as in they don’t really have gender or pronouns. Then French has lots of feminine and masculine, and has pronouns but there is still a lot of generality and inference that leaves me with questions to specificity. One example was my friend, a French girl, was supposed to take this medicine from the pharmacy. She read the directions and they told her how to take it at the pharmacy but when I read the directions and warnings to her in English and explained she told me that she wasn’t told and didn’t read that she was to take it first thing in the morning and some other details. This is only one example of many. Then of course there is English. We are far too specific at times with this crazy English language. I think my brain has been warped from all the details and then the logical thinking that we have going on too. So it’s always fun to try to get details from my Togolese or French friends. Normally they give me the details I needed a day late, or better I will ask one question and they will tell me everything except the answer to my question. I don’t do so hot with that so I have been learning patience and humor in these moments.

Culturally there are many things that I could tell you about but when I first started dating my boyfriend I had a really hard time with our title. He would introduce me to his friends or family and he would call me his strong. Calling me his strong is the Eway word for wife or husband (one word for both wife and husband). I had a huge problem with that. He explained at least a hundred times that even though we were not married, in Togo when you are no longer a child and you have a girlfriend or boyfriend you just say wife or husband. I’m even called “Richard’s wife” by the children who live in his apartment building when I enter the gate or as I climb the stairs as they see me going to visit Richard. Again I look at how I’ve changed because I now have no problem with this and I’ve even been caught calling him my husband at times. Please don’t worry, I’m not married, or living with him.