Full Moon

When we talk about the full moon we refer to the ocean’s tide, Werewolves and crazy behavior of the children at school. Well, I think I have been seriously affected by the full moon. I mean this in all seriousness because yesterday I had the worst day and I can’t believe some of the stuff that actually happened to me and how I behaved in response. I’m glad it’s in the past. Part of me thought that I should just skip writing about this but then I thought that the reason I have this blog is to share the good, the bad, and the ugly this year. This is the ugly.

I began the day with a trip to the bank. This was a simple check cashing excursion but the bank loves to run me around. I asked at one part of the bank and was told to go to the other area to cash the check. Then after I waited in line for 15 minutes the lady tells me to go to the other part of the bank where I just was. Mind you she is not nice and is telling me this in French. I then explain in English that the other part of the bank sent me to her and last time I cashed my check it was at this area. She understands and responds in French. Later, I found this comical. Then the woman behind me sticks her ideas in and tries to take me passport and check to look at them. I grab them back and she and the teller begin a very typical loud exchange in Eway about what a horrible yovo I am because I won’t let this lady just take my pay check and passport for her personal examination. I could see other people ahead of me cashing checks and in the line next to me so I know that this is just giving me the run around, so I hold my ground and stand there. The teller then gives in and takes my passport and check back and proceeds to send my papers for approval, this is more than likely just to make me wait more and save face. She tells me to go sit down as she points far away from her. This is another typical thing that I’ve experienced. When I have actually gone and obeyed politely I am always forgotten for an hour or more so I refuse. I am just pushed aside and she helps the people behind me. This is no problem as other people wait next to the teller window all the time and no one seems to care about privacy in any area of their lives here. It’s amazing how I feel that I’ve been impressed by the culture here. I waited for about 20 more minutes and then I had my passport and cash in hand and I was out of there. This was a record, 35 minutes to cash my check, normally it’s at least an hour an a half.


I dropped off my money at my house and met my friend/guardian because we were off to go shopping at the market. We both were looking forward to this as it was my first day of my five days off for the election, not to mention it was the big market day for the week. We had to take a moto then catch a taxi. The taxi driver was yelling at us before we even got into the taxi and I wish I had just waved him on. We told him the destination and negotiated the price, which was way too high but he wouldn’t budge and my friend didn’t want to wait for another taxi, so we were off with the usual picking up and dropping of other passengers. Then we passed the road to turn to and I said no we needed to turn. I was brushed off and he kept going. Again this should have been a red flag. The police stopped him at a checkpoint to make sure he had insurance and then we continued. He demanded his fare as he was driving and he gave us change. Mind you he already ripped me off with the fare and I was not pleased that he was making us pay the fare and a half because I was white. Then he pulled over and told us we were at the market. It was not the market I was going to. The driver basically told us too bad and get out. He would take us for more money. I refused to get out of the taxi. He then continued to get mad and yell that we had to leave the taxi or he would lock us in the taxi. We explained he can’t just take us to the wrong place and then leave us or make us pay more to take us where we asked to go. He didn’t care. He rolled up the windows of the taxi and locked the doors with us inside. I sat there. I told him through the closed window for the second time to either take us to the market I asked to go to or give me back the portion of the fare he overcharged me. He refused. I waited. He got antsy because he was losing time and customers. He then tried to physically pull me out of the taxi and then my friend as he yelled at us. I told him not to touch me and repeated what he needed to do to make this right. He refused. I was tired and so I reached up and just took my coins back from his tray and tried to get out of the taxi. The taxi man didn’t like this so he shoved me back in the taxi and grabbed me and my purse. He was shaking me and yelling and I told him to let go and he refused and pulled harder. So I bit him on the hand. I didn’t break skin but I left a small mark. He let go and yelled again. He got out of taxi and refused to let us out again and he began driving us. I asked my friend where we were going. I wasn’t worried and I was happy that we were moving. Well, the taxi man took us to the police station. I got out and said that this was ridiculous and began walking toward the road. The taxi man then grabbed me again and pulled and pushed on me while he was yelling. I told him to stop, he didn’t, I pushed him back. He didn’t like that and yelled more. I realized that we were getting a crowed and the men who gathered were concerned more for me than this man. He reached around my friend as we were walking into the police station and pushed and jabbed at my back again so I turned and hit him on the side of the head because no man will ever manhandle me and not get something back. I had had it with this crazy man. The taxi man pointed his finger in my face and told me to be careful in French. I pointed my finger in his face and made and angry face while I yelled the same thing back at him. He got the idea and stopped touching me after that. There was no need to act like he acted and I will never be a docile woman. I know that Togolese women never put up with crap like this and I won’t either.

When we got into the police station I calmly and politely said I needed to speak with an officer who spoke English because we had a problem with this taxi driver. We were taken back to an office. I walked in, greeted and introduced myself to the police officer at the desk. Mind you there was another man who he was helping but the man didn’t seem to mind that he was bummed out of turn as he got to sit and listen and participate in our drama. No one in Togo ever just sits and listens, they join right in with their opinion and ideas readily even if they haven’t heard any of the story.
I was asked to sit down and I relayed my story and posed the question how can a man be allowed to treat any woman like this in Togo? Then the taxi driver told his story very dramatically with much hand gesturing and yelling and pointing. My favorite part was how he played up how I hurt him so badly when I bit him. I had to stifle my laugh because he wasn’t so big and tough in this office. The officer asked my friend about the stories and they talked for awhile. I was asked what my name was and so I felt like making a statement so I whipped out my passport and kindly told him my name. the officer held my passport and examined it and copied down my information. I never carry my passport but because I had been to the bank I forgot to take it out of my bag. Theirry, my friend, and I agree that it was this that saved us more problems as Theirry doesn’t have an official ID, but they took his word for his information on account he was with me and I had my US passport. The taxi man was sent out for his papers and Theirry began speaking to the officer again, telling him how rough the man got with me and even demonstrated pulling and grabbing at me. I then added to the demonstration how I bit him. The officer almost fell out of his chair but was smiling. Theirry and I kind of laughed too.
All of the men conversed in Eway for a while and the decision to send us to the hospital was made. I politely questioned this and explained I might have been bruised but I didn’t need to visit the hospital. I felt the taxi man didn’t need anything but Ibuprofen and some ice but Theirry told me to be quite. Then the officer told us that it was Theirry’s fault because there were two markets with the same name and he should have cleared that up. Togolese will always blame the easiest person rather than the correct person. Theirry also had to give the taxi man the money that I’d taken out of the tray. I was told by the officer that I should never touch a taxi driver’s money tray ever again. He also added that biting was dangerous as he gave me a sly smile. The officer said he would call me later if he needed anything. I thanked him and Theirry had me thank him a few more times. Then we left. As we walked out of the front of the police station I noticed that the holding jail cell was more of a 10 x 10 fence cube with about seven men locked inside. I thanked God that Theirry and I weren’t put in there. If we had gotten a corrupt police man I might have been locked up until I bribed my way out. We walked down the road to find a taxi, as our taxi man had gone out and dramatically told all the other taxi men how the yovo stole his money and bit him. I didn’t think that we needed to take another taxi from this place because I momentarily had a reputation.

As we walked down the road we decided that we were hungry and it was about lunch time. Before we found our restaurant Theirry was walking and held my hand (something that everyone does men and men, women and women, men and women) and he told me how today he saw that I fight back. He laughed because I’m always so nice and happy, but this man was not right in what he did but he saw I could fight back. I laughed too but I didn’t like that situation. I told him how I didn’t like it when people act like that or how I felt I needed to act either. I was just happy it was over and we were going to eat and go to the market. We stopped and ate at a roadside restaurant and I had the best Fufu that I’ve ever eaten in my life! It was so fresh and nice and melted in my mouth with all the flavors from the sauce. I’ve never finished all my Fufu because it’s so filling but I made sure I ate all of this because it was so nice. I told Thierry that we need to remember this place and then on a special day we could all come back and eat there.

We proceeded to take another shared taxi and then motos to the market. This time I made sure that I was firm with directing where I wanted to go and we got there no problem. The moto men kind of laughed that I was the one guiding them to the market and the specific entrance I wanted too. Theirry plain laughed out loud telling me that I really did know Africa.

The market was fun and I got a new dress and some toys for the kids a school. We returned home and Theirry burned the leaves in my yard. Another friend stopped by and watched a movie while I went to the vegetable stand. I came home and began cooking but was called back to the school. I returned and then this friend started asking me about things that were on my table, including the phone credit he had bought for me (with my money) the other day. When I couldn’t find it he started accusing Theirry and getting worked up. I told him to stop because it was impossible that Theirry took the credit. I wanted him to shut up so I said that Roxy probably ate it and to let it go. In my heart I knew that this friend took it because he was the only one who knew I had the credit on my table and he was pointing out that it was gone so someone else would be blamed. I also found out that he wasn’t watching the movie on my computer but rather messing around with the setting. This irritated me, especially after the morning I had. I had to explain to him how I trusted him and he lost the privilege of coming to my house and watching movies on my computer. Later, my other friend got involved and told me that he would find out who took the credit but it was my fault that the settings had been changed on my computer because I shouldn’t have let him use it. My response was that if you let someone watch movies on your T.V. and they change all the settings on your remote control it is rude and not acceptable. This is the same kind of thing. OH BOY! I also added that what is the difference blaming it on other people? I was the one who had to replace the credit no matter if we blamed someone or not.

I’ve been told over and over that you trust no one here. It’s just like what I was told in Los Angeles. The big problem I have with that is if you trust no one you miss out on possible deep relationships. Those are the best kind. Unfortunately, when you open yourself to deep relationships sometimes people rip you off in various ways. It’s ok to be hurt but to miss the opportunity is not ok with me. So I was hurt, but it’s ok because love fixes that hurt.

It was after this that I walked up the street to sit at my friend’s store and relax a little. I looked up and the full moon was smiling down on me and I laughed. I realized that I normally point out everyone else’s crazy behavior during the full moon, but I am not immune to it either. I was the one acting crazy and thank goodness it isn’t permanent!